


rocket ships

by aspentree



Series: vld ships and things | pineleaf & SweatersAndChaiLattes [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adult Themes, Depressing, FUCK, Inspired by Book, M/M, Matt Holt - Freeform, Miro, Sad, Shatt, Takashi Shirogane - Freeform, Underage Drinking, a n g s t, im bad at tags, mentions of depression, no smut ya nasties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 06:37:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13161327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspentree/pseuds/aspentree
Summary: Shiro once held the whole night sky in his hands, rolled the stars in his palms and sparked flames with his fingertips.And then it all winked out and gave way to shadow.Inspired by the Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider.





	rocket ships

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are matched with their counterparts from the book by appearance/personality. I am not bending the characters to fit any of these roles. For the sake of the story, Pidge and Matt are not related.
> 
> (Dedicated to my partner @pineleaf. If you’re reading this, give me a facetime. I want to see your gorgeous blue hair. I love you.)

He liked to think everyone had tragedy waiting for them. Hiding behind curtains, in the corners of their eyes. Maybe hidden in their words, in someone else’s. Shiro remembered his own tragedy like it was yesterday, peeling off bandaids like cooled wax. It was a long time ago, and it all started with the bane of high school, Matthew Holt.  
  
It was Lance McClain’s party, in the cool summer night of July. Shiro had arrived at the party, watching all of his football friends laugh and drink out of red Solo cups you see in movies. Girls were everywhere, smiling and flirting. He could see his girlfriend in the crowd; Allura Fala. Her short skirt brushed dark chocolate thighs and he could spot her refreshing blue eyes from across the room. His heart strained against his sternum to get to her but tonight was a night about him.  
  
He passed her in the kitchen, grabbing a Dr. Pepper and heading out to the backyard.  
  
McClain’s backyard contained a pool and a jacuzzi, something Shiro had never had in his own backyard. Currently, all of the football kids were trying to create a beer funnel out of a bright blue pool noodle.  
  
”Hey, Shiro!” Lance called, swaggering over with a stupid smile plastered on his face. It reached his eyes, which were stunningly similar to Allura’s. They were distant cousins.  
  
”Hey, Lance,” Shiro chuckled, watching his friends get the beer ready.  
  
”Wanna join? This is going to be the best hangover you will  _ever_ have in your entire high school career.” He teased, cool SoCal air teasing at curly, light brown locks.  
  
Shiro shook his head with a smile. “I’ll just watch.”

Of course, they failed miserably. Beer and vodka went everywhere and all over Katie Gunderson’s shirt. “‘That is mahogany!’ Come on, guys, what am I supposed to tell my mom? I can’t get into my house! I’ll smell like a margarita bar!””  
  
Everyone laughed. She was like everyone’s little sister. She was never evil or stuck up like some of the other girls, like Ezor and Zethrid. Acxa and Narti were in a whole pissed-off league of their own.  
  
Shiro ducked back into the house. His step-brother slid through the crowd to come to his side. His dark, violet eyes looked frazzled. Obviously he had not been in a party this big; probably the biggest party he had possible been in was his eleventh birthday party.  
  
”Sorry to piss in your Gatorade,” he began, earning a snort from Shiro, “but your girlfriend is currently making out with the biggest douchenozzle in the entirety of Eastwood.”  
  
Shiro’s heart tumbles down into his feet as Keith takes him into a side room, and what he saw is nothing short of porno.  
  
Allura’s silver hair flashes in the light as she sits up, lips kiss swollen. There’s a boy there with short, platinum blonde hair and a brown beanie half-on.   
  
“S-Shiro! I didn’t think you were coming!”  
  
”I’m pretty sure he was about to,” He deadpans. No one laughs.  
  
”Is this the boyfriend?” The boy asks, looking him up and down. “I can take him.”  
  
Apparently she had told him about him.  
  
“You can take her, we’re done,” Shiro mutters as he turns and leaves the room, Keith at his heels like a puppy. He storms outside.   
  
“Shiro, where are you going?” Keith asks, eyes pinched with concern.  
  
”Home,” he said angrily as he got into his car and started driving.  
  
What they don’t tell people is how time slows down as you can feel your lifeline compressing, shortening. A white Lexus spins around the corner and starts down the road towards Shiro. Even when it hit him, it didn’t stop. Metal screamed and sparked as he could feel his arm shattering, feel the pain arce through his nerves.

————  
  
Matt sat at his table at lunch, looking sympathetically at his arm brace that held his bones together, to keep them from breaking again. “I don’t understand,” he said, looking up at Shiro. “You were this school’s golden boy. Why does everyone look at you like you’re a charity case? Nothing happened.”  
  
”That’s exactly it,” he said, rubbing the brace lightly with the pads of his fingers. “Nothing happened. But as soon as I got injured, it’s like I became somebody else. Like I’m the joke, the pity. I don’t want to be pitied.”  
  
Matt sighs in length, honey gold eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. “Those kids don’t matter anymore. They shut you out of Homecoming King. So why be bummed about it? Even if you were joke-voted with Anamica Patel.”  
  
Shiro sighs and picks at his food.  
  
Matt puts a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, a reassuring touch that made him blood run gold. “They don’t matter, okay? Whatever happened between you and Allura wasnt your fault. Your arm isn’t your fault.”  
  
”Yeah.”  
  
————  
  
“Come on, Kashi!” Matt called, waving. He looked like a dork, all decked out with Gryffindor merchandise; a Gryffindor tie and suspenders, Gryffindor socks and a very suave Gryffindor fedora. This was the state debate championship and he still managed to look stunning, even in cheesy Harry Potter garb and pretending to spell their debate teacher, Ms. Weng, into sleep.  
  
Shiro hid a smile behind his hand and ran down the hallway to find their debate rooms and opponents.

————  
  
A week after Matt disappeared from Voltron High School. From Eastwood itself. Shiro would look out his window, across the park, to Matt’s house. Their bedroom windows faced each other. He remembered a month ago they were talking to each other in Morse code, with Matt’s Hello Kitty flashlight.   
  
He grabbed his own flashlight and leveled it at the window, at the dead of night.  _ARE YOU OKAY?_  
  
No response. But he noticed a small figure sitting atop the playground’s plastic castle.  
  
He raced there as fast as he could. “Matt?”  
  
Matt looked down as the wind blew long ginger hair into his eyes. “Shiro.”  
  
Shiro’s heart raced like it had a month ago, at his first glimpse. He ran up the stairs, itching to see him. When he joined Matt at the top, it was eerily silent. He remembered when they sat here, watching Lance McClain and his cronies PAM the monkey bars. When Shiro had stopped them and earned Matt’s respect.  
  
”Where have you been? We’ve been worried. Katie’s been worried. Even Thace, and Kolivan.” Shiro asked, brushing hair out of the Irish boy’s face. It was flushed pink.  
  
”It’s none of your business.”  
  
”Of course it’s my business! You’re my boyfriend and I love you! I have the right to worry when you ditched me before prom and after I bought you a corsage; It’s my business when you don’t answer your phone or text anyone and you just....just disappear! From school!” Shiro said in a strained voice.  
  
”Look. I’m sorry.” Matt said in a sad voice, amber eyes filled with unshed tears.  
  
”Sorry about what?”  
  
”My boyfriend’s in the gas station.” He said, pointing. “He’s buying cigarettes. I’m sorry I played you, I just...I needed to get close to you. I’m new. I just...didn’t know what I was doing. I was just amusing myself; this is exactly what I make fun of. Kids wthat used to be the star of the school left to coach tennis, reliving your glory days. This whole thing was just a charade. And you fell for it.”  
  
Shiro’s heart fell into his shoes.   
  
Silence reigned over the two until Shiro broke it, in a choked voice: “Fuck you, Matthew Holt. Fuck you.”  
  
————  
  
He’s at his therapist. Sitting in the waiting room, filling out a college application form. It’s the summer after senior year and he hasn’t seen Matt all year. Shiro can admit it—he misses that son of a gun. With cheerful amber eyes, the brightest smile. He told him about the panopticon, helped him win debate.  
  
Pain twisted in his gut as he finished his letter to Yale, tucking it into his pocket. He was called to the therapist’s office.  
  
He went into the hall and found Matt.  
  
”Matt?”  
  
He said nothing.  
  
”Matt. Did you...did you actually cheat on me?”  
  
”No. I just couldn’t stand it.”  
  
”Stand what?”  
  
”You! I couldn’t stand you.”  
  
”Why?! What did I ever do to you?”  
  
Silence.   
  
“I figured it out. I put all the pieces together.”  
  
”To what? Matt, to what?”  
  
”Your black Volvo. Your arm. The night of the party. It all made perfect sense.”  
  
”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shiro said, reaching his good arm out to Matt. Matt pushed it aside and looked up with a red face, tears spilling down his face.  
  
”My father died on that night.”  
  
”Yeah.”  
  
”He died,” Matt choked out, “twenty four hours after crashing into you.”  
  
Shiro could barely hear Matt over the rush of blood in his ears.  
  
”He and Mom had a fight. He got so fed up he just grabbed the keys and let the door slam behind him. I should have asked him to give me the damn keys, but I didn’t. We heard there was a wreck, and asked him if he was alright. He told us that he had hit a tree. He told me that he wasn’t feeling well and he should be better in the morning. The next morning we walked into his room and found him dead.”  
  
Shiro’s breath went shallow.   
  
“A blood clot dislodged from the crash and made it into his heart. I didn’t want to be with the boy my father cripp—, injured, sorry. The boy my father almost killed. I look at you and I see him dead in you. Kashi, this was never going to work. I don’t want to be with you and agonize over that it was my fault.”  
  
Shiro gasped in a ragged breath. “You don’t have to; please just talk to me. I want to be friends even if we can’t be lovers; Matt, I love you, please don’t do this to me.”

Matt gave him a tearful smile. “It was nice knowing you, Shiro.”  
  
He pushed past him and into the dying evening light.  
  
Shiro never saw him again.


End file.
